A friend asked for some more thoughts on informal cooperative childcare and playgroups like The Nest.
Musing on co-op childcare, I think it springs from
1. a basic need to share work and not feel isolated.
2. respect for the incredibly high value and intensive work of childcare, which is not reflected in our economic values of the moment.
3. Celebrating that those who spend their days with their own young children have favorite activities and rhythms that work for them and might work for others, too.
4. The "security" of formal daycare and childcare has its advantages and disadvantages. Co-op childcare can very creatively meet families actual needs.
We're sort of recapturing what every tribe knew.
We've found that with lots of time with parents and kids all around each other, EVENTUALLY, it becomes natural for the parent to go off and do another project sometimes - an errand, a jog, check email, whatever - only when everyone is comfortable.
In those cases we've noticed a few things, too.
1. For happily mommy-attached little ones, teasing out a little more happy away from mommy time can happen with double strollers, baby/toddler carrier attached to caretakers facing outwards, and of course the lure of those older kids! Or and snacks, never forget snacks.
2. A good idea to be more cautious and more patient with other people's kids if we don't know what the family's normal mode of operation is. When you spend lots of time with other families, you can get into more complicated and challenging projects with the kids, and work out lots of kinks and get used to each others parenting instincts and all that. At first, being in a new environment with new people is enough "stretching" for the kids, so stick with songs and circle games over competitive play, and stick to projects that don't involve too much sharing or waiting. Give lots of time and room to get in a groove together.
3. Specific instructions are helpful to caregivers, like "she'll probably need a snack in about an hour" or "if he cries for me give it about ten minutes before you come find me" or "in that case come find me right away!". Also keep in mind that you can say "those instructions are too complicated, I'm not up for being in that situation, please keep your kid with you" and everyone has to be OK with that.
I like to think of it as a "leap of faith" in giving your children the chance to be with other families, especially our precious little ones. For those of us who come to it with an attitude of trust - we're not signing waivers, we're not writing policies - we're just recognizing a mutual basic need and doing our best to fill it!
Thanks for reading,
